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Open Thread: Oracle Hotline

Open Thread: Oracle Hotline

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How about this week, you share as many first sentences as you're willing from any/all of your WiPs? First sentences can be so brutal, it'd be nice to see some that have come into existence. Sadly, the only superhero story I'm working on is my Big Bang at the moment, and I can't share that, so you get non-comics stuff instead!

“Sami, you’re not going to believe this, I got us the sweetest gig for next weekend,” Kevin blurted out as his tag team partner got in the car.

(Shockingly, Kevin will later discover it is not actually "the sweetest gig.")

There’s a woman waiting for them, guarding the gate as though she knew they were coming.

(Ooooh, present tense. Not my favorite, usually, but I'm aiming for a sort of mythical feel, so maybe it'll work! I hate when I realize the tense is wrong because it is SO HARD TO FIX...)

And this isn't even properly a WiP yet, just a first sentence and a pile of ideas, but I'm gonna share because it cracked me up--the first line of the soon-to-be-a-classic "Piledrivers & Prejudice":

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a young singles wrestler in possession of great talent must be in want of a tag team partner.
  • From Under the Radar: "Wow," Dick said. (Bruce has just had a day that's gone from being accused of corporate espionage to getting thrown out of a lawyer's office because said lawyer knew Bruce wasn't being 100% truthful with him. Dick's just gotten an earful.)

    From The Hero in My Life: My best friend Sharon Macklin is a costumed hero. (And poor Kerri has been suffering for her best friend's vocation for a good five years.)

    From Unrehearsable: Dick had been gone for over an hour, but Bruce still hadn't moved from his seat in the Cave. (He's had a lot going on and he needs this quiet time. Especially since he won't have much more of it, going forward.)
    • Dick appears to be rather a master of understatement there!

      I like how both of your DC works start with the fundamental relationship between Dick and Bruce to kick things off...
    • I love that one from Under the Radar. It's so simple, but such a good opener for the exposition.
  • This is all I've got at the moment:

    Hal Jordan was fucked: to begin with.

    That's from "One Final Fabulous Thing," the Christmas story that I think will be posted in July.

    One of the things I'm wrestling with just now actually is...well, not first lines as such, but opening scenes. Everything is a bit up in the air as a result.

    • I am very taken with that first line. :D

      Figuring out where to first cut into a story is so hard sometimes! Usually I try to force myself to trim off the first couple of paragraphs to counteract my tendency to information dump a bit...
  • From the BSG: TOS Apollo/Starbuck story, The Mischievous Masseuse:

    Apollo trudged along the corridor of the Galactica. He was bone-weary. Frak, why did people have to be so contentious? The bureauticians were bad enough, but the military martinets were even worse. He expected nothing but foolishness from the former but better from the latter. How his father had been dealing with both factions since before he was born amazed him.

    From the Natasha & Clint first meeting story (Untitled):

    The landscape was blue-on-white, the sky pressing down on mountains as rivulets of snow ran down like vanilla ice cream on a sundae. The wind blew, cutting into the fleece-lined parka that Natasha Romanoff wore as she surveyed the vastness of Siberia. Ice sparkled as the cold flared her nostrils.

    Edited at 2017-02-17 04:06 pm (UTC)
    • Ooooooh, some nice chances to describe cold weather and gorgeous landscapes, I like it!

      And ahhh, Apollo. :( I trust you to give him a happy ending...
  • It is a truth universally acknowledged that a young singles wrestler in possession of great talent must be in want of a tag team partner.

    Always love the play on famous first sentences. XD

    Goooood, I feel you about the tenses. Because while it is possible t fix it grammatically, it always messes up the sentence structure and rhythm in places and that BUGS ME!!! Hate when that happens.

    Most things I'm writing are for remix - so also supposed to be top secret. :O

    So here are some non remix WIPs of the moment:

    He slipped on the uneven stone floor of the cave and his breath caught in his throat, in that frightened split second, when he realized there was nothing he could do to catch himself.

    This is another Iron Man Noir thing with pre-serum Steve hoping not to embarrass himself in front of famous adventurer and war hero Tony Stark. Not sure where it's going. :P

    “Why is it always the knight, saving the princess?” she asked Michael while they are playing in the garden.

    This is going to be a Peggy Carter/Wonder Woman one shot, I've been dying to write for ages.

    “You should go out,” was what Fury said. It had not been an order, of course, but the kind of friendly advice that people were prone to give him these days. “Meet the century head on.”

    This is from an MCU divergent AU that splits right after Steve wakes up and will possibly tie in with Avengers. Fury will probably ear his words when Steve meets the world head on by meeting Tony early. :P

    This was the end. Finally.

    First sentence/paragraph from a post-Civil War (the first one) comics/MCU crossover that will possible have Tony/Tony/Pepper and possibly a hint of very background Steve/Tony. I kind of love this as an opening sentence.

    Have I mentioned I have too many WIPs - especially with an RBB around the corner? I have too many WIPs!!!

    • TENSE SHIFTS ARE THE WORST. Yeah, the fixing is hard BUT ALSO like you say, some sentences just don't work right once you change it.

      Peggy/Diana sounds AMAZING. And I really like the idea of starting with Steve slipping and off-balance, it sets the tone really well. Oh, and the starkness (uh, so to speak) of that last one!

      Good luck with all your WiPs! I feel your pain!
  • "Wayne, we've got a problem." From my DC/Marvel crossover crack fic.
    • That cuts to the chase! I wish I were better at that, I do have a tendency to meander a bit...
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